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Top 8 Commercials of the 80′s
The criteria for what made it into this Top 8 List basically consisted of one thing: did I remember the commercial and did I remember it fondly? So here’s a list of 80′s commercials you may or may not remember, depending on your birth year, but that will surely incite a nostalgic longing for a simpler time. A time when children were children, women were women, and giant anthropomorphic Kool-Aid men were giant anthropomorphic Kool-Aid men.
1. Cherry 7Up—I was watching the music video for TV On The Radio’s “Wolf Like Me” when I suddenly had a flashback to the late 80′s and a series of commercials for Cherry 7Up. It was the chick in the video’s jacket that did it. Something about the pink in an otherwise black and white film reminded me of the time when Cherry 7Up wanted us to know ” Isn’t It Cool In Pink.” It was indeed cool in pink. So cool, that Matt LeBlanc is in this video.
2. Bartles & Jaymes—There were two quintessential drinks that I remember from my childhood. One was the New York Seltzer brand of sodas, which were delicious and a bit hoity-toity. The other was Bartles & Jaymes wine cooler, which I longed to try but alas disappeared from my consciousness by the time I was old enough to drink. There’s something about two old men selling you liquor that’s just downright charming.
3. The Clapper—This is one of those products you would probably now find in Sky Mall. Back in the 80′s this was the kind of commercial that aired at odd hours of the day, either really early or really late. I think because their prime demographic target was elderly people and elderly people don’t really sleep. Twenty years later, this product is still ridiculous.
4. Pound Puppies—Everyone had to have one of these. I don’t know why children’s toys in the 80′s were obsessed with the concept of adoption (see Cabbage Patch Kids & Garbage Pail Kids for further proof), but they were. Don’t go to the actual pound! Go to the fake pound! Really, these toys were for parents who didn’t want to get their kids a real dog. Somewhere, Sarah McLachlan weeps.
5. Twizzlers—Up close shots of people’s eyes or mouths are creepy, as I know you’ll all agree. What’s especially creepy about this mouth (besides the fact that it is claymation) is that it’s apparently a dude, yet it has the luscious lips of a lady. Talk about gender queer!
6. California Raisins—I firmly believe that the plethora of anthropomorphic food is directly related to the rise and popularity of veganism. Case in point, the Califorinia Raisins. They became so popular they had their own Saturday morning cartoon. There were t-shirts, cereals, action figures, etc. How can you eat something you’ve grown that emotionally attached to? You can’t. You just can’t.
7. Dominos’ the Noid—The 80′s had a thing with claymation, if you couldn’t tell that already. Here’s another one. The Noid! Avoid the Noid! What the hell is a Noid? How did they come up with this? I think cocaine was probably involved. I also think they should bring back the Noid. People would buy Dominos out of sheer sentimentality for a long lost youth.
8. Kool-Aid—If I remember correctly, there was a period of time when Kool-Aid was trying to sell itself as a some kind of Gatorade-like sports drink. Oh wait! That actually happened. Kool-Aid, he’ll destroy your property and make your kids hyper! There’s nothing like what is essentially colored sugar disolved in water to replenish your nutrients after a long game of roller-blade hockey.